Every time I see ham, I shudder. It wasn’t always like this, I used to actually enjoy ham. Not anymore, because of the ham sandwich.
In high school, before I had my license and could drive myself, my grandma would drop me off at school in the morning. Because of who I am as a person, I never woke up early enough to eat breakfast at my house. I would just roll out of bed and shove something in my face on the ride. Most people would probably grab a granola bar or Pop-Tarts; I would have been happy with either. My grandmother, however, wanted to make sure I got protein so I could be focused and do well in my classes, so she started making me a ham sandwich to eat on the ride to school. She did that every day. So at 6:30 am, every day for two years, I ate a ham sandwich in the car on the way to my high school. Everyday. Two years.
You might be asking, “Brynn, why didn’t you tell her you didn’t want a ham sandwich for breakfast?” I TRIED. I got tired of the 6:30 am ham sandwich pretty early in those two years. There were a few times when, in between agonizing bites, I would say “Nanny, I don’t need a ham sandwich tomorrow. I can just eat a cereal bar or something.” Well, if you ever think I am ignoring you then rest assured I got it from my grandma. The next day, what would be waiting for me? DOUBLE HAM SANDWICH. I pleaded with my mom to say something, to help me escape the dreaded ham sandwich, but it was to no avail. The ham sandwiches were always there, taunting me. I had to stop saying anything because I knew I wasn’t strong enough to handle a triple ham sandwich.
Once I got my license and started driving myself, I vowed I would never eat another ham sandwich. When people ask me if I want ham, you would think the deli meat had kicked me in the face and stolen my money; “No, please no. I beg of you, I can’t do it.” You may be wondering about club sandwiches or other sandwiches where ham is not the only deli meat. I probably shouldn’t compare myself to a dog, but I will. Do you know how you can hide a dog’s pill in a piece of cheese to get them to eat it? That is what it is like for me. If it is well hidden amongst other deli meats and toppings, I will eat it. By itself, absolutely not.
So, while some of you are debating whether pineapple belongs on pizza, the true criminal is ham. Even though I have had enough ham for a lifetime, I am grateful that I have a loving family and grandmother who was so concerned about me and my protein intake that she made me a ham sandwich every morning.
Update: I went home to visit my family during our wellness days. When I arrived, my grandma asked me if I wanted a...ham sandwich.
I’ll be honest. I could not bring myself to buy a pack of ham for this recipe, so I made a turkey sandwich. You may substitute ham if you so choose.
1 plain bagel
1 slice Colby Jack cheese
2 slices of turkey
1 piece romaine lettuce
Toast bagel to desired crispiness.
Layer cheese, turkey and lettuce on the bagel.
Add your favorite condiments and enjoy!